The week STARTED well...

...and it ended on a low note!

I did so well all week with eating. I was walking the dog every day, and hardly even snacking or feeling hungry because I was too busy to think about it. I even managed to find time to plan out my lunches so I was staying on track.

And then the weekend rolled around. It started Friday night when I suggested we get soft serve ice cream. Then Saturday, after our street sale (and I managed to say "no" to hotdogs, doughnuts and lemonde!) we had our street party. I had a bratwurst. And a cookie (it was vegan, but it was still very much a fattening thing! And some heavenly granny smith apple salad with snickers and coolwhip mixed in. It wasn't awful, since I hadn't eaten much all day. But then my neighbor brought out a carton of strawberry whoppers, and a carton of chocolate whoppers. And I proceeded to eat them and eat them and eat them. Sunday, too. Only Sunday i finished off two bowls of that apple salad in addition and then ate my way around the local Greek Festival.

*SIGH* I don't know how this happens to me. And I was even thinking while I was doing it how mad at myself I would be.

But today's a new day! I weighed in today at the same weight as last week, thank goodness, and i've made solid choices today. I even told Chris he should take our friend Adam to the Reds' game so I could go work out.

Here's to another week of staying on target and remaining that way!

Oh Excercise, I Miss You!

Life continues to be crazy, and this week is no different.

My eating really has been okay this week. I probably haven't had nearly enough vegetables, but I'm drinking lots of water and not snacking carelessly between meals. I've packed my lunch and planned my dinners except for yesterday - when I left my purse at home and begged Chris to meet me to take me out to lunch. Even then, I had turkey and cheddar on wheat with a side of fruit salad - not bad!

I haven't had the time to exercise AGAIN this week, except for my morning walks with the dog. I've been busy trying to get my house under control. It's a total mess, and we're having a party here on Saturday...kind of all day, starting with our Garage sale in the morning.

I really don't think i'll get to the gym before Sunday...does cleaning and laundry count for exercise! There just aren't enough hours in the day!

Weekly Recap

I did very well last week, I think.

I didn't manage much time for exercise at the gym, but I did take at least one walk (sometimes two) with the dog every day. I made it to the gym once. And though I had the time yesterday to go to the gym, I was (and still am) very sore from the yardwork I did on saturday for about 3 and a half hours.

I was trying really hard to approach this differently. I don't want to count every little thing I put into my mouth. I'm trying to make good choices about what i'm putting in my mouth. I want to realize when I'm actually HUNGRY, and not just bored, tired or stressed out. I think I did a pretty good job of that.

Saturday, we went to a family party where my uncle grilled burgers and "tube meat." I gave up beef several months ago, and found the other choices too fattening. So I had a huge salad, some baked beans and potato salad. Before dinner while everyone else was filling up on chips, dips, cookies and brownies, I had a small rice krispy treat and two hand fulls of carrots. And then a very small brownie after dinner.

Yesterday we had dinner at my Grandma's. She's a fantastic cook. We had grilled pork tenderloin, asparagus, salad, rolls and (my favorite) mashed potatoes. I only ate until I was full and I stopped. I didn't go back for seconds on the potatoes, and I passed up the cheesecake for dessert. It was still a big and dense meal.

When I weighed in this morning, I had lost two pounds for the week. And I'm VERY satisfied with that!

On tap for this week's goals:

Drink more water!
Strategize eating for this weekend's street party and Thursday's happy hour

On Self-Control

I've been thinking alot lately about self-control and about willpower.

I have such a hard time willing myself to eat healthy and exercise, and an even harder time with willing myself to stick with it.

In every other aspect of my life i've always held back. I've always been afraid of losing control, but somehow it's food that i find the most comfort in letting myself go completely.

I come from a family of drinkers. I hesitate to say alcoholics, mostly because I'm probably not ready to admit that. But I knew at a very early age that I never wanted to need to drink like my parents and sibling and so many others in my family do. Don't get me wrong, I like a cold beer, a really dry glass of wine, and the occasional margarita or martini. But even in my most comfortable of situations, I rarely let myself get drunk. My husband can probably count those times on one hand in 6 years of being together. These addictive tendencies are hereditary though, right?

When I was still single, I held back tremendously with those I dated. With sex, with commitment in some aspects and with really letting people "in."

I was never one to experiment with drugs much (and hey - i went to art school and lots of phish and DMB shows!). I never got wild and went to parties. But food -- food was always there, and I have always been willing to let loose and find comfort in that. When I have a bad day at work, I have always turned to food instead of hobbies, exercise, entertainment, or even a beer.

It's just something interesting i've been mulling over about myself. I think that in the six years that i've been with my husband, I've really changed in a lot of ways. I was a total introvert in so many situations. I was afraid to do alot of things alone, though my stubbornness never let that side of myself show too much. He's brought me out of my shell in a lot of ways, and the funny part is that he's a pretty introspective person himself.

I don't hold back anymore on things so much out of fear, but by choice, and I'm hoping that as my own self continues this evolution, I'll continue to find ways to channel my comfort needs into other things, and to control my urges where food is concerned. I know that a big part of this journey is about recognizing my own behaviors and learning to change them. And I think this is a good start.

Feels Good to Exercise!!

I rocked the gym tonight. My great return after almost a month not going. I've used every excuse in the book, including exercising in other ways, but it was long past time for me to get back.

It was awesome. I wish I could remind myself of this every time I sit around dreading going there. And I especially hope I can remember this tomorrow night after sushi with my friends. I feel so good. I'm breathing easier, and that cheddar popcorn I had earlier isn't so bad anymore now that I've given myself the chance to work it off!

Hooray for the gym!

I can DO this!

:)

I feel really good about my day today. I made wise choices for food. I planned my eating in advance, I took a nice long walk (boy it's been gorgeous outside), and I'm getting ready to go to bed nice and early tonight.

It's amazing what a difference a day can make!

Now it's time for me to pack my lunch for tomorrow and get settled into bed with a book! What a great day!

If at first you don't succeed...

Last week could have gone better with my eating. I never wrote about it here because I was pretty down on it all. I didn't make it to the gym a single time. I only got out to walk the dog twice. My eating wasn't awful, but it wasn't very good either. By the time Friday rolled around, I found myself downing a bowl of fresh guacamole and chips and drinking two powerful margaritas.

It was all stress, and i need to learn, as I've said many times before, to channel that differently. Yesterday I tried on a pair of capris that I bought last year and couldn't get them buttoned. It made me break into tears. This morning I got on the scale, and my weight is back to where it was on New Year's day. My 9 pounds is all back.

Today went really well though. I had lots of veggies - broccoli with lunch, corn and a salad with dinner. I had lots of fruit - a nectarine with breakfast, watermelon with lunch, strawberries after dinner. My only splurge was the baked cheetos after I went to the grocery store (which I didn't need in the first place).

Quinn (my dog if I haven't mentioned his name before) and I went for a nice long walk this evening after I got back from the grocery store. I spent $109 and change at Meijer tonight. I stocked up on some things and I feel set for the week. I am limiting myself to only eating out on Thursday night with my girlfriends for sushi, and Chris has agreed to stay in with me and not suggest eating out this weekend. So i'm set for some pretty interesting meals. I bought a pork tenderloin filet, and plan to make a Morrocan spice rub for it. I've got bok choy, tofu and fresh farmer's market asparagus for an amazing stir fry. I bought ground turkey and have the ingredients for fresh salsa - thank you again farmer's market - so we'll be having tacos this week.

We have dog training on the agenda for tomorrow night, but i'm slated for the gym Wednesday and Thursday nights (no sushi for me unless I promise to work out that night!).

I'm back. And I'm trying hard. And knowing that I have a network of friends out there doing the same is really helping me - thanks to all of you whose blogs keep me inspired!