Food for Thought

This has been floating around several blogs lately and has the potential to give you some insight about why you eat when/what you do. Just some food for thought...

1. What types of food were you most likely to overeat?
Anything with cheese or chocolate.

2. What times of day did you overeat most often?
Evenings mostly. When I have down time, or am just too busy to really think about what's going in my mouth, and too tired to really put forth the effort.

3. What feelings were you having most often when you overate?
Many times i'm upset or angry. Or i'm just exhausted from the amount of energy it requires to portion and make good choices. I often find myself with a very "fuck it" kind of attitude, and think "just a little more of this (insert item I shouldn't be eating here) won't hurt for just one day." Then it just keeps spiraling, unfortunately.

4. Do you think you have a binge eating disorder?
I don't think I have a binge eating disorder, but I do think I have an addiction. Addictions run in my family with alcohol and tobacco. I've managed to avoid those two addictions, but food is what I replace it with.

5. What circumstances in your life do you believe contributed to your weight gain?
I don't want it to sound like I blame my parents for my weight, because I don't. But I believe it all started when we moved into the house I mostly grew up in. We had lots of space with a private drive, but nobody to play with. My brother and I have always been so different that playing with him was never the most attractive option. I could never ride my bike to a friends' house. I was never allowed to take a walk alone, and it was rare that my Mom would go with me. So my childhood experience really lacked the means to get myself in an active lifestyle. I opted instead to read so much that my Mother would FORCE me outside to play, or watch TV whenever my parents weren't home, or whenever I was otherwise allowed (which is alot).

6. Do you 'blame' anyone for your weight?
I really can only blame myself. I make the choice to put foods in my mouth. I make the choice to skip the gym, or go out to lunch when I should eat what i've packed.

7. What other behaviors made you overweight?
I'm lazy. I always have been. And we were kind of poor when I was a kid, and I never took to vegetables because we always had things like corn or peas out of a can or frozen from a bag. They only way my Mom could ever get me to really want to eat them was in a cream sauce or in a cheese sauce. I am only now beginning to like vegetables - because i buy and use them fresh.

8. Were you active or exercising while you gained weight?
Usually. I always played sports. And i really have made an effort to work out at a gym since college. It's just not always part of my regular routine.

10. What made you finally want to change?
I'm not sure I fully have changed. I have a long way to go. I'm tired of looking around and wondering if i'm the fat girl in the room. I'm tired of shopping and never even trying on what i'd REALLY like to wear because I know it won't look good, or worse, it doesn't even come in my size. I'm tired of the cracks people make - perfect strangers - if I unintentionally upset someone while driving and I hear them yell "you fat (insert expletives here)" like I heard from mean mean kids growing up.
More importantly, I want to have children, and I don't want my children to struggle with this problem. I want to have healthy pregnancies, and I want my children to learn how to balance exercise and nutrition so they don't make the mistakes I did!